How I Discover how to reduce and even eliminate grief!
I’m going to tell you the story of how I discovered how to greatly reduce grief…even eliminate it… rapidly and permanently! I know that sounds a bit outrageous but if you read this whole story you’ll see that it’s true. And if you watch one of the demos that I’m doing to help people with grief transform it into joy, then you’ll really get that this is truly a major breakthrough for helping people recover from grief.
About 5 years ago my youngest daughter committed suicide at the age of 29. She lived in Iowa and had a very young daughter herself (my granddaughter) who was only about a year and a half old when my daughter took her own life. I was in Switzerland when I got the call from her mother (my former wife) and of course I was totally shocked.
Fortunately, I had previously learned how to resolve traumatic emotional pain after I had been shot in the chest by a deranged stranger back in 1993. It was a miracle that this shooting didn’t kill me as the gun was a .44 caliber hand gun so the bullet was big and it happened at quite close range. Hunters use .44’s to kill bears!
In my recovery from this attack I had two surgeries but the biggest part of the healing wasn’t physical. it was emotional. I needed to find a way to heal from the deep emotional pain that was causing what is called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) that I had as a result of getting shot. I had all of the typical PTSD symptoms… nightmares, flashbacks, anxiety, depression, hyper-vigalance, startle response… you name it, I had it.
The reason I want to share this with you is that what I discovered is a major breakthrough for healing from all kinds of trauma including the trauma that causes grief.
I didn’t believe the psychological dogma that PTSD is incurable and you just have to learn how to cope with it. Intuitively I felt that the psychologists must be missing something. There must be a way to heal from trauma. After all, new technologies are being invented all the time. Why not see if a new technology could be invented for resolving deep traumatic emotional pain that causes things like PTSD, grief and heartbreak?
So I started to look for an answer. I wanted to see if I could find what was missing that seemed to make recovering from trauma so difficult, if not impossible for everyone. I was determined to find something with which I could truly heal myself.
It took several years of my own specialized research to find an answer and when I did it was so simple, so incredibly simple, that I could see why people had missed it. Here’s what I discovered.
When we are very little we all get emotionally overwhelmed many, many times. Nobody likes it. In fact we hate it. And everyone starts to suppress painful emotions as best they can in order to try to avoid the awful experience of being emotionally overwhelmed. This happens even before we learn how to talk. Everyone gets so good at suppressing emotional pain that they do it without even realizing that they are doing it. It becomes a deeply engrained conditioning. It becomes automatic. And this is universal. Everybody does this.
When the pain is too strong and we can’t suppress it, it overwhelms us and makes us cry. But neither emotional suppression or getting overwhelmed and crying get rid of the pain. I’m sure everyone here has cried many of times over your loss and you still feel the pain.
So after getting this insight I mentioned above, it was like a light bulb went off. I suddenly had the idea that what I needed to do was to try doing the exact opposite of what we are all used to doing all of our lives. I needed to experiment with allowing myself to feel the sensation of the terror that I was still carrying around in my body. And then, while feeling it, to get closer to it rather than pushing it away or trying to sweep it under the carpet.
So I got up my courage and tried it.
I thought about the getting shot experience and immediately felt the sensation of the terror in my chest. Let me tell you, even though it had been a few years since the shooting incident, the feeling was still intense. I have to say that the first thing I noticed was that it didn’t kill me to allow myself to feel the terror! It took a while of letting myself just notice the central strongest area of the sensation of the terror, but to my surprise and delight the feeling gradually diminished.
Hmmm, maybe I’m onto something, I thought. So I got my courage up even more and I brought my awareness yet closer to the remaining sensation that was still there in my chest, After staying focused on the central strongest part of the energy for a while again, it diminished some more.
OK! Now I was really encouraged!!! I kept getting closer and closer to what remained of the sensation and the feeling kept getting softer and softer until it was gone.
Was it really gone? To test it, I thought about the whole experience of getting shot and I didn’t feel any terror any more. Could it be possible that I managed to really get rid of this deep pain?
I decided that I would sleep on it and see if the terror was really gone the next day. So I went to bed that night not knowing if the terror would come back or not. I had been having nightmares every night. But when I woke up the next morning the first thing I realized was that I had slept through the night with no nightmares for the first time since getting shot!
There had been several aspects of the trauma from this incident and I could feel that there might be some of it left so I used what I had discovered on all of the sensations of traumas from the whole incident. The result… No more nightmares. No more flashbacks. No more anxiety or depression. I completely cured myself of PtSD. Unheard of, but I did it. And I haven’t had a single PTSD symptom in the 25 years since. Now that’s incredible!
Of course I couldn’t help but share what I had discovered with friends and family. As I did that I rapidly learned that what I had discovered was useful for resolving all kind of emotional pain. You didn’t have to be severely traumatized in order to benefit from this discovery. So I started traveling around the world teaching people how to do this. I did end up using this new development to help people who were struggling with not being able to get over the pain of grief. Every time I did that with someone, it worked with people all over the world. This made me prepared to use it myself when the time came to do that.
My daughter had never learned my emotional resolution techniques. She just wasn’t into it and was deeply depressed. She’d been taking some of the new anti-depression medicines which are know to sometimes create suicidal thoughts. So when I heard the news about my daughter’s death I was in deep pain about it but I knew what I had to do. I used the same technique that I had used to cure myself of the PTSD and within about an hour the pain was totally gone. All I could feel then was my love for my daughter.
The thing that’s different about what I did that made it work so well is that what I discovered is that the solution to recovering from trauma and grief is not intellectual. It’s experiential. And everyone is so deeply conditioned to avoid it. This is what causes people to grieve for so long. They simply don’t know that they have the natural capacity to heal from this but that capacity is totally under utilized. It’s not that we can’t do it, its that we haven’t known how to do it because of our deep conditioning and habit of emotional suppression.
I want other people who are grieving to be able to stop suffering. I want to help everyone in the world who is grieving learn how to overcome it and regain the ability to be joyful again.
I do want to help as many people as possible to stop suffering and transform their suffering into joy!
One of the demos is with a woman named Joan who lives on the east coast of the USA. When I offered to do this on my facebook page she replied right away that she would like to volunteer.
She said –
Tom, I saw your note on FB about looking for volunteers to do demos on different topics. I would very much like to do one with you on grief. I lost my husband in Aug and am having a lot of difficulty finding my way through the overwhelming grief. I’m on the east coast of the US, if that helps coordinate things.
There’s a second one scheduled with an elderly man in India who is having a very difficult time after the passing of his son in a train accident.
In both cases, I’m going to give a brief orientation and then guide the person through the techniques for resolving the energy that is causing the pain.
Whet I learned from my own experience as well as from helping lots of people get over the pain of grieving, was that this can be done much, much faster than “normal.”
To see one or more of the demos – join our email list using the form below. Check the checkbox for Transform Grief into Joy and any of the other topics that interest you. We send out emails with the schedule of upcoming demos regularly so you can see what’s coming. We will also have the recordings of these demo sessions available as well so that you can watch some of them right away if you like.
And if you’d like to volunteer to have one of these demos, just send us an email using our Contact Us form. Include the a brief description of what you’d like help with on the demo and we’ll let you know if that opportunity is still available. We do these fairly often so it very likely will be.
Wishing you complete transformation from grief into joy!
May you be completely free of the pain of loss!